Granny phone chat free sex talk montreal

He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message. As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely. I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist. Please begin your message with your Master Card or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. Please leave your credit card number at the tone... Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. 01/31/05 - budda from too stoned, AZ: hey, like leave a message, or something, or don't , i don't care. No one is avaliable to take your call, so leave a message, don't make it long, and we'll call you back when you buy a thong! This is an asnwering machine message so leave your message after the tone!!! (pause) i'm not here right now so leave a message and i'll call you back! ) 12/07/04 - miki from : hi, uh, well, um, (stammers) I-i'm ______, and ,er, this is the answering m-machine your t-talking t-to so um, ya? 11/17/04 - the zanie gurl from Alaska: Hello, I am not able to come to the phone right now...well, actually, I'm at the phone....recording this message.you're hearing it later..I can't be there..I am here now..gosh, this is so confusing...

Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call. but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back-only that I won't. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back. Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak, his "Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72." No! You know what I hate about answering machine messages? I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. However if you are one of the many guys that's looking for a Play Girl job slip in to something comfortable and come on over. 12/28/04 - Tiffany from Nacogdoches, TX: This is ______ if you take the time to leave me a message i'll take the time to call you back! 12/08/04 - Nate Adkins from Le Sage, WV: "Advanced Auto Parts this is Jeff, just joking its (your name) leave a message" 12/08/04 - ANDY & JESSICA from OUT: PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE 12/08/04 - ANDY & JESSICA from OUT: PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE 12/08/04 - Kati from California: Hello. 12/07/04 - Sarah from NJ: h Ay Lo this is ulga ____inner beast!! 12/04/04 - dev from home: hilarious 12/02/04 - jamie from earth: I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. (that'll confuse them) 11/17/04 - the zanie gurl from Alaska: (with loud music playing in backround) Hello? 11/15/04 - Samber from Hell, Mexico: I was just kidding about the hell comment... You've got the machine, you know the routine, so leave a message after the beep!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you The roses have wilted, the violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head The roses stink, sorta like sheep But leave your name, number, and message after the beep The roses are molding, the violets are rotten And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten Twinkle, Twinkle little star, bet your wondering where we are? Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell. (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers. When the computer has checked they're not eavesdropping, it will make a bleeping noise and you can speak freely. (Theme from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in the background:) You've reached the residence of John and Tom.

Well, put your mouth up to the phone And leave us a message for when we get home. (Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I'm off making Montreal a safer place' to live. POW, BIFF.) You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. This is not an answering machine--this is a telepathic thought-recording device. None of our staff is authorized to speak with you except for Fred, who is not here right now. I'm afraid we're all out just now on a desperate mission to save the Planet from boring answering machine messages, but if you know what The Shredder has done to April O'Neill, or if you know where he is, or if you can think of a decent pizza recipe, just leave your name and number and we'll ring you right back. You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. (Ominous electronic background music:) In honor of Halloween, I'm about to perform an unspeakable pagan ritual. Unless you're a virgin, in which case, why don't you stop by? (Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell. We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator.

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Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't ready, we gave it to Vanna White. As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. A basic membership is only , and a pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. There's no point in leaving a message since by now I'm probably dead. 01/07/05 - Matt from Mass.: You must be this tall to leave a message. 01/02/05 - ashton from ohio: buddy the elf whats your favorite color? sorry i didn't call you but i have anal glaucoma..i just can't SEE MY ASS calling you back! 12/30/04 - Daniel from Texas: (Similar to one below, but more refined) "Hey, this is Dan.

On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else.(Will be automatically deleted! Please wait for the tone, and thank you for your pledge. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. You know what, whoever the hell you are you mght as well hang up because I'm gonna ramble a lot. 01/05/05 - Jenna Armoska from Rock Falls, IL: Hello...? Leave your name, phone #, address, Social Security #, Credit Card #, and the expiration date. 12/30/04 - Bel from Laredo, Texas: Hello this is my answering machine.

I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. I'll get back to you if I need anything else." 12/30/04 - Bel from Laredo, Texas: Hello this is my answering machine. I know you're supposed to leave a message, but I prefer you don't.

(The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.") Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.) Hi, you have reached _(phone number)__ you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. I know you're supposed to leave a message, but I really prefer you don't.

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